Everything went smoothly until it was time to get everyone cleaned up.  Now, like many parent with kids under 3 it is very likely to shower & bath them at the same time.  Today, I put both boys in the shower with me.  I was making great progress too!  I was clean and then washed the youngest & had all but the oldest hair washed & teeth brushed.  He didn’t want to have his hair washed – most kids don’t.  So, while holding the younger kid in my left arm, I bent down [in a squat] and procedded to wash the older son’s hair.  That is when I lost my balance.  I slipped and fell landing on my crack and a bulldozer.  Needless to say – I am fine & so are the boys; however, the bulldozer didn’t make it.

When I fell, my right foot glanced off my son’s side, no harm or direct hit . . . he looked up all upset and then said, “Daddy are you getting a bath with us?”.  I laughed and said no.  Soon, I was back on my feet and we were headed out the door for the wedding.

The funniest part was my SILs reaction to the story.

iron wil

I often forget that he is a little boy & that he doesn’t have all my knowledge and experience; and that he is not a man . . . still a boy in the carefree days of childhood.

Really, I look at him and somewhere it registers that he doesn’t understand nor think like an adult. So carefree and free from all our learned behaviors. Happy to have a hug or a cookie. Happy to wrestle on the floor with daddy and brother. Just happy.

When I remember that he is a boy, I try hard to make it up to him and tell him why daddy was wrong and apologize to him. I will often hold him and sometimes even cry with him [if he received some form of punishment]. I have to admit that I am getting better, at ‘remembering’ before I act.  No, I am not perfect at it, I have just been practicing replacing my reaction with thought and then an appropriate action.

Now, when I see him do something I say to myself, “What are you going to do, he’s two?” Then I either let it roll off or think about a better approach than yelling or giving him a smack-bottom.

Discipline is necessary to teach him right from wrong, abuse is out of line, and as he grows so can the consequences. He will hopefully learn to make good decisions and grow up to be the man that I expect and believe he will become.

Now, I just have to continue to remember.

wil becker
2009.10.23